ouroboros

Ouroboros

My world certainly changed when I met you

We came together, as if on cue

It seems a lifetime since that day

Now the world has changed in a different way

This time stronger, we drift apart

A piece remains in the other’s heart

When love is real, there is no end

We just circle back and start again

It’s the cycle of life, no need to fear

Go forth and give your heart my dear

Know that I am with you still

You have my love, you always will

JKF

12/7/13

Dying I...

Dying I…

Slowly am…

Each day is a gasp…

Each breathe a surprise.

Dying I…

Slowly am.

JKF

10/13/13

No Thing

No thing

Nothing like a summer rain to set my heart to pumpin’

A crack of thunder and I come, my soul and breath are humpin’

Nothing like the falling drops as clouds explode and crumble,

The flashlight rockets through the sky and yet another rumble.

Nothing like a summer rain, to cleanse my world and me,

Releasing my own thunderstorm, emotions flowing free.

Jkf

8/28/13

Summer Madness

Forged by summer’s heat.

A new thought has occurred.

Sharing my emotions with your pillow.

I am watching myself on the screen.

Leaving happiness behind the tears.

Growing stronger in spite of this.

Molded by the pain of sadness,

Living daily as I should.

Sometimes even in my madness.

I realize it’s something good.

Jkf

7/15/13

Did it rain this morning?

Seventeen notes of mottled laughter on my window-sill,

The rain said “good morning”

Waking up like coming to, from dental surgery…

First euphoric from the novocaine of sleep.

Then slowly as a returning memory of some forgotten tragedy, the pain peeks in with my consciousness.

Oh yeah, it’s me…remember?

Those seventeen notes,

A sweet wake up call that brought me back to life.

I was so happy playing dead.

Jkf

7/11/13

Good Orderly

This slice of life I am weaving through,

Is all consuming and has me confused.

There’s no retracing every step,

There’s no beginning over again. There’s only one moment’s mistake after the last one.

Each breath is in trepidation,

Each heartbeat is precarious.

If one thinks there is any safety,

One is deluded.

Yet…

We all pretend,

We all proceed,

We all act as if ,

We know.

We don’t.

Drop the pretense,

Drop the face,

Drop the assumptions that we know.

Let go.

Let go.

There is no god.

Let go and let go.

Jkf 7/9/13

Petitions Egress

This pain is deadening as I sit with it.

All else has drained from my existence.

This heart is mountainous and cannot be moved again.

All I feel is weight and sweat.

This ache is shattering as I live with myself.

All I’ve ever known has been replaced.

This breath is moist with regret and fear.

All that used to flow has ebbed.

This life is deafening as I live it.

All spirit has evaporated.

This ancient soul subsides.

JKF

7/2/13

Still Life

Still Life

I was putting thoughts down on a page and found myself alive.

Astonished at my fate, I dropped my pen to cry.

Thinking I was gone so many years ago,

Imagine my surprise when I found there was still life.

Exploding into metal and lying on the ground.

My only hope was prayer and I didn’t have the time.

Waking on the journey, a peaceful breath I took,

Then moving back to death, I fell for years to now.

So every waking thought and each amazing breath,

Were figments of my life and clouds before my eyes.

Each seasoned tear and breaking heart,

Only wishes to a child.

I lay there on the road the sirens fading in

Surrounded by the world and cradled in its peace.

That one moment, that short night,

The only real existence,

The last day of my life

JKF

4/14/13

Echoes

Echoes

If I exist at all is in in silence

So as not to disturb another soul

If I am, I am afraid

To be the man I am

I am changing how I look

As I remember vivid details

I am reading form a book that has no rules

Am I reading of the life once lived?

I am a blank slate,

Pages peeling back

Looking for my voice in there

Finding only echoes

JKF

4/13/13

I Alone

I Alone

In my life I am creator

Of all that exists

I am life itself.

Therefore

I

Am

Responsible.

I alone

Allow events to occur

I alone produce

The days of my life.

No longer can I call

On god or any other

In vain or disbelief,

To save me from myself.

JKF

4/10/13

Lamaze

Lamaze for life

Just breathe through the pain

Contractions come and go

Breathe again

It’s good to have a coach right there

Reminding you to breathe

It’s a simple program…

JKF

4/10/13

No-one Lives as I

No-one lives as I…

Inside my mind there are millions if not more…

They raise my roof with their cries…

I am welcomed as a king…

Adored from every region…

Treated with respect and love by all who live and die here…

No-one lives as I…

The universe shouts my name in every language…

I have brides on every shore…

As I voyage on, each sea caresses my face…

I lack nothing and abundance is my code…

The skies open and reveal my face…

There is no place I am afraid…

For fear is my closest friend…

No-one lives as I…

Alone, I am surrounded by love…

My heart breaks with joy each moment…

My soul rides high on the wind…

Darkness guides my vision…

And turmoil warms my skin…

I am complete and whole…

No-one lives as I.

Jkf

4/8/13

Stolen Quote

I think the tea is ready and it’s time to take the bag out.

How fucking long must the liquid steep, before it goes rancid?

So pick up the cup and toss the tea, it’s time to drink from life.

Take a sip and then a gulp and drink the shit down.

After all if you don’t drink it, you might as well dump it out.

If you’re not going to use it, throw it.

Life as a teabag, all of its metaphors and still you wait.

The cup will stain, the water go bad the reason for it lost.

There’s still time.

It will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright then trust me, 

it’s not yet the end.

JKF

3/30/13

Still

I am becoming…

It has begun.

I feel the presence of it lurking…

Each day it’s volume grows.

I am evolving as they say…

And changing ever slowly.

Deep beneath my flagging skin…

Where muscle used to rule.

And further in my soul it seems…

And all that I comprise.

Bit by bit the shadow hides…

More of my normal traits.

Till all that’s left are clues…

Indications and allusions.

Leftovers, bits and pieces, relics…

Of me before the change.

It has begun…

Visibility has weakened.

I am still buzzing on the inside…

Yet outward live unseen.

JKF 3/24/13

Pardon

My life has been a slow attempt on it.

Suicide on the installment plan…

Every ounce of energy spent on annihilation.

Secretly seeking solace in isolation.

Quietly aiming for the end…

My life goal of self extinction has failed

And I live…

I live to my surprise each day…

As a matter of fact, each breath.

Moment by moment I re-align…

A compass in my head.

Small adjustments that catch my wind…

And put me on a course.

For what I’m sure there is no reason…

And no design or art.

Yet something like a prayer…

A silent second comes.

I am saved and resurrected…

A groundless pardon served.

JKF 3/24/13

Wasted

Wasted, time…breath…energy…life.

Dreaming of, emptiness…darkness…nothing.

Feeling, tired…broken…defeated.

Living, barely…ineffectively…useless.

Remembering, insecurities…humiliation…embarrassment.

Longing for, rest…quiet…the end.

Wasted, dreaming, feeling, living, remembering, longing for…decay.

JKF 3/24/13

One Love

Peace to you my friend and love.

I will always love you

Peace to you my friend and joy

My hopeful wish for you.

Though I may not be in your arms

Tonight

Though the heartless skies are black.

Peace to you my friend and love

Though we didn’t make amends for all the pain we brought

We didn’t cry in vain we didn’t cry in vain oh no we cried for love.

Inside my blood you travel dear, inside my cells you live.

And with each cut that bleeds my love, I see your face again.

Thanks to you my friend for love

Unlike another heart,

Thanks to you my dear for love

Yours is the only one

Ours is the only one

You are the only one.

You are the one my love

JKF

3/22/13

Cold Kiss

I want to be the one to kiss your forehead when you’re gone.

I know it sounds gruesome but, I want to be the one.

I wouldn’t mind it also, if. I could be there as you die, if I could feel your final breath and hear your last request.

And could it be me you call on to hold you when you’re scared?

And be the last warm kiss you give

The one I’ll miss the most.

JKF

3/21/13

Evanescence

Evanescense

There!

Did you see that?

Never mind it’s just me…

On the in breath I had a catch,   a stutter   or skipped beat,

Then on the out breath,    there… there it is again.

Just out of the corner… in the corner…I didn’t really see it.   I felt it.   A hollow, so dark…for a moment    I    was gone.

That must be what it feels like to be blind…and deaf.

I felt it slip a   little.

I feel it more these days…well, I never felt it before    but since the first time, I can summon it.

I felt it slip away.

Deep    black    and     silent…

I felt it slip.

Life.

Slipping or slithering away… this is new…

JKF

3/19/13