Silence

It’s just me being me but I am wondering who I am.

There’s no answer so before you speak silence.

I’ve been trying to reply all day and the void is swallowing my voice.

I’m here, I’m okay, I don’t know what the fuck is going on.

I’m like this most days.

How about you?

Jkf

10/30/17

 Weight of Decay

I arrived at the alter expecting to bleed,

In silence I waited, believing the need.

Left cold and alone with no hand to hold,

The prayer began, without being told.

In fear of my death I brace for the answer,

Alone in the stillness, accepting the cancer.

There must be a river of life I can drown,

I scream for relief and follow it down.

Gone from the chapel, walking the streets,

I’m beaten and bloodied still shrouded in sheets.

Surrender to breathing to sate my desire,

I’ve fallen once more to the heart of the fire.

Jkf

10/14/17

Pure is

A quiet moment holds my heart,

You're near and I can sense it.

Above all else a calm emerges,

My soul relaxes.

This

Is

How love feels.

You and I are much the same,

We sleep when god is present.

In gratitude a smile expresses,

The joy my heart is in.

This

Is

How love lives.

Pure

Peace

Pleasure.

You and I share love.

JKF 10/12/17

sanguis in manibus

Sweet the shame burns deep my heart attacks
sour my eyes and nose as breathing seems to slide
down through my skin a shiver and revolt
sadness lives between my lies

I'm used to shame and used to fear
I'm close relations to the sign
I've never been the lucky one
and always felt the pain.
So why should I pretend to live
A happy life that never was
So why can't I take my revenge
On those of you who gave me breath.

I'm only giving back your gifts
I'm only shooting you
What did you think would happen when
you've pushed me to the end

No excuse when you fed me poison
You are the ones that made me vile
There's no return from torture's hand
When once it has begun
Punish me with all your venom
Sit me at your fire
But know that when I free myself
Your blood is all I see

I've felt the shame, the heat of loss
You've given false report
My weapon came from your your abuse
My finger pulled your pulse

Will be no recompense for us
We are not coming back
We live as human beings free
from one another not
What I repair, we all regret
and no one is exempt.

jkf
10-7-17