Joy Hides Everywhere

This life is full. My heart is grateful. 

I feel a peace and serenity at times. 

When my feelings are not so joyous, 

I am able to accept them as an 

equally important aspect of this life. 

This gives me joy.

JKF

6/12/14

Paradox

Peace of mind comes drifting in…

A feeling unexpected.

When did I ask for this?

Heart and mind connected.

How am I alone but calm…

What does this silence cost?

A freedom nearly left behind.

A search gave up for lost.

JKF

5/31/14

The Definition of...

The Definition of…

I float…

Sinking is my fear, but upon entering the water,

I float.

Each time I enter the water, whether it’s water or not,

I float.

Sinking is my fear even though I float…

One might say I am not well, believing that I will sink…

But,

Upon entering the water, my fear is sinking.

And yet I float, again and again, I float.

Not a shaky slippery sinking float.

But a buoyantly beautiful peaceful drifting…float.

As I float, I am wondering when I will sink.

Even though my float has taken on a magical effortless almost flying quality.

I am float-flying! It is magnificent!

I’m sending out this message to anyone who might hear it.

I might be sinking. Can you help me?

JKF

5/26/14

My Angel and Hers

Angela,

Seeing you gaze into you precious daughter’s face touches my heart.  When you look at the sweet gift in your hands and you know, somehow you just know that this child, this tiny piece of the infinite universe is much more than just another person. She is an extension of yourself. She is and always will be a part of you no matter what happens from now through all of eternity. That moment when you hold her in your arms and cradle her so gently and securely,  and she feels so perfect and you know she is. Those moments when you talk to her as no-one else does. Those private seconds when you are alone with her and you whisper how much you love her and just how beautiful she is in every way. Those tiny buttery soft feet, the delicate fingers and toes and that face that breaks your heart every time you look at it. The perfection in the infinite design. All so beautiful and fragile.

This child is you. This person is like no other in your life. You have a bond with her beyond compare.

Angela, I hold those moments deep in my heart, and I feel them still as I look at you. I want you to know that I felt them for the very first time as I held you, just the way you are holding her right now. I said to you “Welcome to the world Angie. It’s a crazy, beautiful, scary world sometimes, but don’t worry, it’s going to be okay. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I will always love you. I love everything about you my sweet child.” 

Thank you for sharing this moment with me and reminding me how special you are to me.
 I love you Angie.

                       Dad

Brainwave

Brainwave

I am alive although I’m silent, I am breathing without sound.

My heart beats with a muffle. My brain waves with a smile, hello

Jkf

3/25/14

Tis

Tis

I sit. Sitting, not waiting.

So much waiting is sitting.

All my breath while sitting. Not waiting.

Breathing, not thinking.

All my thoughts now sitting, not thinking.

I am. Am I?

Jkf

3/25/14

Jennifer

Perspective

Sometimes you have four dollars. That’s all.

That four dollars is hard to spend.

Then you run into Jennifer on the street.

Now Jennifer has four dollars. That’s all.

Jkf

2/21/14

Rough

Sitting here alone I  draw another sober breath,

And for the life of me, I can’t remember death.

But I have been a soldier to it,
I have been to the gate.

Yes I am just a miracle,

A peaceful hand of fate.

Tears are now my medicine,

My joy bursts from within.

And hope is what I feel right now,

My life without the sin.

Groping for a stronghold on,

My corpse and all it’s skin,

My serenity has driven me,

Away from all that pain.

Life is glorious as I know it,

All the drama gone.

Peace and light are filtering in, through the cracks of all my fear.

Giving up was all I needed,

Giving in and out.

jkf

2/20/14

Lih

Lih

I was there

On my back

Looking

Up

On my knees

Looking down

On my face

In my dreams

Looking in

Without seeing

Without warning

Suddenly

Look I’m here

Jkf

2/12/14

Through The Cracks

Through the Cracks

 I draw,

Another sober breath.

Though I’ve had my fingers in the fence.

And  been a soldier to it,

Death and all its memories,

Have given me reprieve.

Through the cracks of all my fear,

My joy bursts from within.

Giving up is what I needed,

Giving in and out.

Seems like I’m a miracle,

There’s magic in my tears.

Jkf

2/9/14